Blessed are those who hunger and thirst...

Quote from a Rob Bell Sermon

*"Blessed are you who ache because the world is not how its suppose to be, blessed are you when you get frustrated enough to throw up your hands and say 'God I cant do this', blessed are you when you try to make the tension go away no matter how hard you try, blessed are you when you run out of will power, ideas, self-control, hope, fortitude and energy, because its in that space, ache, frustration, ache, hunger and thirst that God is with you."

http://odeo.com/episodes/25242509-Mars-Hill-Blessed-are-those-who-hunger-and-thirst-Rob-Bell-Audio

El Salvador

There is this part of my heart that yearns for my favorite little place on earth....

I want to see smiling faces, kids running up and down the driveway, my favorite little pupusaria, the little tienda, children singing to their King...

I want to see El Salvador.

LA X (Latitude Adjustment 2010)

Im waiting for pictures from Florida/LA X to finish loading on facebook, so naturally I decided to blog....

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and that included leaving Florida with my 200 friends from Campus Focus. God was good to us, Florida was great and LA X was fantastic....I loved every moment of the trip!

We spent the week going through the first 3 chapters of Colossians....First we talked about how Paul was telling Colossians about the two different worlds they are living in--there is the world that revolves around myself and the world that revolves around Jesus. We talked about how Satan's claim is that we have to qualify ourselves and that the most important thing is ME. However, Jesus already qualified us and that gives us so much freedom to live within.

Next we talked about the Supremacy of Christ and how He was here first and how He created everything. In the OT, the first born received all the rights and inheritances, however Jesus already qualified us to receive all the inheritance. Jacob challenged us to let God be supreme in all parts of our lives--our words, thoughts, actions, relationships.

Third, we talked about how Jesus, the high priest could atone for ALL our sins, as opposed to the OT where the israelites had to constantly atone for their sins.....Jesus's blood on the cross was 100% complete--not lacking in anything! Well, it was complete except for the proclamation and that is our job in all of this....How much are we willing to suffer so that the Gospel may go forward?

During the fourth session we were challenged to look at our lives and examine what laws have been holding us captive. You see, there was this really cool thing that happened when Jesus died---all the OT laws died too. By the grace of God, we dont have to do ANYTHING, because its ALREADY been done for us. We talked about Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." and how Jesus is begging us to stop trying to atone for our sins as we are no longer bound by the OT laws, because they have already been paid for. Kevin made a couple comments that really made me think....he said we CHOOSE slavery over FREEDOM, we would prefer to mechanically follow meaning less laws rather than live in the freedom HE has given me. How many times have I caught myself trying to make lists of ways and things that need to be done to 'fix my sin,' and the reality is that Im living like an Israelite....

Our last night we talked about our Identity in Christ.....Chapter 2 of Colossians says we died AND were raised with Christ. Paul commands us to put to death our old ways because they cause us to be focused on earthly things and to put on things like compassion, humility, patience, gentleness because were were CHOSEN, HOLY and LOVED.

The trip started a little rocky when after dinner I realized what the actual date was, you see January 2nd is kind of a big landmark date for me....I immediately started beating myself up because I was so disappointed in myself for not having this whole sin thing figured out and under control within a years time. I wanted it all gone....done, finished, away--anything but still in my life, and unfortunately a year later that is not the case. As the week went on, I was constantly convicted of my short comings had to change, in order to make 2010 much better.

Somewhere during the week something clicked and I realized that sin management is not the way to freedom and the only real way is to simply pursue holiness. Well....that sounded easy enough....and then I realized that "pursuing holiness" is a really BIG phrase. In one of our break out sessions we talked about what it means to pursue Christ and I just found myself more confused.....What IS the difference? How do you do the same thing but in one way its sin management and in another way its pursuing holiness? I'm still not really 100% sure....what I have discovered is that motives plays a huge part in all of this...For example, I can read the Bible because that is what Im suppose to do (sin management) or I can read the Bible because that is what is pleasing and glorifying God (pursuing holiness)....It isn't much but that is where I am on this journey....still trying to figure things out but not trying to figure so much out that Im binding myself in slavery to rules....

As I start on a new leg of this journey, I keep finding myself struggling to believe that something will be different this time around....Im struggling to believe that I CAN make it through and that God can and will change me. As I was reminded...."kristen, you are a daughter of the King....Just ask him--Jesus help me with my unbelief."

These next couple months should be good....I just found out that The Chapel is doing a 12 week study over the book of Galations and it is entitled, "life, liberty and the pursuit of holiness." Im excited to see what will happen in the next several months.

Grace and Peace
Kristen

Life

Daddy loves you, He always will, no matter what.

here i am

Show me Your heart. Show me Your ways. Show me Your Glory.

A friend of mine wrote this in their facebook status: "Today, I start with the LORD."

I really like that comment because so many times I get up and start with myself--I start thinking about the long list of everything I have to do today. Its hard for me to start my day by spending time in the Word because Im already so focused on wordly things. As a student I keep falling into this trap where reading my Bible becomes one more homework assignment and because I already have enough homework, the last thing I want is one more thing to do. However, when I think about starting with the Lord...it just completely changes my perspective and I eagerly look forward to spending some time with Jesus. I cant wait to see what he has for the rest of today :)

Arms High and Heart Abandoned

I wish it were easier to stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the one who gave it all. I really wish it was, but its not and I just can't. I struggle to let go of all the things that I think Im in control of, because I need to feel like I'm in control. I thrive off of being in control. Yet, every time I just get frustrated and upset when things dont go the way I had planned them...

Luke 14:27 and 35
Anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. 35. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot by my disciple.

I've been thinking about this a lot in the last 10 months or so, because that idea of giving up everything is so frightening to me. Let alone that Jesus says that if you don't, you cant be my disciple.....

So, what does it look like to completely surrender? What does it look like to die to ourselves so that the gospel may go forward? What does it look like to worship God through being a student? What does it look like to be ok with not being in control and being completely content in Jesus?

I'm not 100% sure.....when I find out I'll let you know ;)