Arms High and Heart Abandoned

I wish it were easier to stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the one who gave it all. I really wish it was, but its not and I just can't. I struggle to let go of all the things that I think Im in control of, because I need to feel like I'm in control. I thrive off of being in control. Yet, every time I just get frustrated and upset when things dont go the way I had planned them...

Luke 14:27 and 35
Anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. 35. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot by my disciple.

I've been thinking about this a lot in the last 10 months or so, because that idea of giving up everything is so frightening to me. Let alone that Jesus says that if you don't, you cant be my disciple.....

So, what does it look like to completely surrender? What does it look like to die to ourselves so that the gospel may go forward? What does it look like to worship God through being a student? What does it look like to be ok with not being in control and being completely content in Jesus?

I'm not 100% sure.....when I find out I'll let you know ;)